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Do Our Parents Love Us?


Fatih313

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Some parents don't really care about their children. They don't even bother where their children always go, with whom their children befriend, how their children are doing etc etc. And the children somehow don't want to share their problems with their parents since their parents seem don't care about them and some even ignore them. They prefer to share their problems with peers and buddies. And in order to release stress, they will join their friends to do bad things like taking drugs etc etc. When their parents know about this, then they'll be grounded and all. But their parents never actually show that they care about them and never actually asked them what the problems are.

Some of them just care about their children's studies so that they'll get 38 points and their parents would be so proud of them that their parents will show off to their neighbours and all. They only stress on their children's studies and don't even care whether they're doing fine at schools or not, whether they're having fun with friends at schools or not, whether they're in good health conditions or not. Technically, I can say that these kind of children are their parents' "slaves". When they excel in their studies, their parents will get the name etc etc.

I know that without our parents, we wouldn't have survived. Our dads have been working so hard to feed us since we were kids and our moms have been carrying us for nine months during their pregnancies. But do you think the situations above are relevant for them to treat us that kind of way? What's your point?

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Guest Lexie_

My parents care about me more than my studies. Honestly my mom doesn't really even know what IB exactly is XD!

My mom doesn't know what IB exactly is either, but I think that it's better that way - I don't want her to worry too much.

Overall, my mom is very proud of me and keeps telling her friends what a great student I am etc. but sometimes I think that she underestimates how much energy it takes me to get good grades, and that's because she does not realize how hard IB really is... She says it will be fine if none of the universities take me in for medicine, but I know she would be extremely disappointed... Especially, because she doesn't even want to hear about me taking a break after IB, and if I sometimes doubt myself and mention giving up on medicine (which I won't, but sometimes I get depressed and scary thoughts come to my mind), she becomes furious and makes me feel even worse... Overall, I know she loves me the way I am, and pressures me for my own good, but sometimes I really need her to be a mother instead of a merciless coach, who tells me to stop crying instead of comforting me (not in all instances though).

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My parents care about me more than my studies. Honestly my mom doesn't really even know what IB exactly is XD! Honestly i would LIKE some parental pressure tbh so I would not procrastinate so much... :)

I concur with this. My parents are actively unhelpful actually, especially when I'm revising, giving me loads of jobs to do, listening to the radio really loudly and telling me to stop working so hard or to stop complaining because "you always do fine" so there's no point... yeah I always do fine BECAUSE I work so hard! :P

Both of them I think take it for granted that academically I'll do okay. In a way it would be nice to have more pressure (although there is a strange pressure in-itself of somebody just assuming you'll do well with no effort!!) but tbh I think I prefer it this way round than being pushed. Maybe it's just a cultural thing, but it's not that common to be pushed or terrorised by your parents into studying hard here. They get pissed off if you fail stuff and want you to do well, but they don't really drive you. Perhaps it's why so many people end up not trying that hard but eh :P I'd say most people's expectations and pressure comes from themselves or from the views of society/teachers/generally that you have to do well to succeed in many things or to get into Uni.

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Some parents don't really care about their children. They don't even bother where their children always go, with whom their children befriend, how their children are doing etc etc. And the children somehow don't want to share their problems with their parents since their parents seem don't care about them and some even ignore them. They prefer to share their problems with peers and buddies. And in order to release stress, they will join their friends to do bad things like taking drugs etc etc. When their parents know about this, then they'll be grounded and all. But their parents never actually show that they care about them and never actually asked them what the problems are.

Some of them just care about their children's studies so that they'll get 38 points and their parents would be so proud of them that their parents will show off to their neighbours and all. They only stress on their children's studies and don't even care whether they're doing fine at schools or not, whether they're having fun with friends at schools or not, whether they're in good health conditions or not. Technically, I can say that these kind of children are their parents' "slaves". When they excel in their studies, their parents will get the name etc etc.

I know that without our parents, we wouldn't have survived. Our dads have been working so hard to feed us since we were kids and our moms have been carrying us for nine months during their pregnancies. But do you think the situations above are relevant for them to treat us that kind of way? What's your point?

Wow I truly found your description of parents appalling. Although I was incredibly thankful before I read this, you have truly opened my eyes and I can’t even begin to express the gratitude I feel towards my parents.. I can’t imagine going through a home-life similar to what you described, and I truly thought this wasn’t common at all (I thought it belonged in relatively rare horror stories like A Child Called It). My parents have always emphasized the fact that they think my own wellbeing is way more important than any education, and in spite of my success within the IB diploma program and although my parent’s continuously shower me with praises full of admiration and support me 100%, they have asked me numerous times whether I truly think IB is worth all the hard work. I don’t know how people could ever complete this program without a 100% support and love from their intimate family, especially their parents =/.

Edited by Babydolleyes
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I am truly sorry to hear this. I am glad to have the great parents that I do, they support me in all of my studies. They understand that I am going to get a bad grade here and there.They sometimes want me to stop IB and go back to regular classes because I'm very stressed sometimes, but I couldn't do that of course.

My parents love me and I am no "slave"!

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My parents seem to care about me personally.

On another note, as for parents in general - whether or not they love us is something I also wonder. I understand there should be the biological force of nature which inclines mothers and fathers to care for and want to protect their offspring, but I wonder to what extent that is personal affection or "love"; birds will drop their chicks from their nests if they have any flaws. But to what extent can we compare humans to animals? But in what ways are we intrinsically different that we should be inclined to differentiate ourselves so thoroughly from them?

If we are really different from them, I wonder if parents actually love us to go through all of the trouble, or if they simply use us as their excuse for their purpose in living, therefore convincing themselves that they "love" us? We've been studying existentialist plays in English class XD...

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I am truly sorry to hear this. I am glad to have the great parents that I do, they support me in all of my studies. They understand that I am going to get a bad grade here and there.They sometimes want me to stop IB and go back to regular classes because I'm very stressed sometimes, but I couldn't do that of course.

My parents love me and I am no "slave"!

It doesn't happen to me. Just wondering somehow.

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  • 1 month later...

wow..really..."slave"..if your parent cares more about you getting good grades and and excelling in school rather caring about you having fun at school, it dose not make you a slave. you parents can see that if you get education right now you will be able to have fun later instead of you going out with friend right now and then working you butt of for the rest of your life. so in essence you parents love you no matter if they nag you about you doing good in school or is they what you to take care of your self.

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I think that the parental impulse causes most peoples' parents to love them in some way or the other. The main difference is in how this love is shown to the child.

In my case, it's shown by over-protectiveness and coddling; thus, at times it feels like my parents hate me.

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My mom cares about my well being more than just my education.

But to be honest, she forced me into the program, claiming that it is best for my academic future.

Then she saw how much pressure and stress it put on me, so she wanted me to resign. This was confusing as hell for me because at first they tell you, you have to do it, then the next thing they tell you to quit.

She then explained to me that she would rather have me be happy then be depressed and that wether I do the IB or not, she would support my decision. As long as I tried my best, she said she was proud of me. I guess I still do the IB not only for myself but I don't want to let her down either, not to mention I don't want all my hard work to go to waste! haha. XD

I can see what you are trying to say there. But sometimes I think some parents try to live our their dreams through their children.

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  • 4 weeks later...

To be honest, whether your parents love you or your grades, either way they are showing their love towards you. They love you...full stop. They love you getting good grades is still loving you because they would love to see you doing well in the future and achieving what you desire.

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