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Have you ever had thoughts of suicide?


Guest IMBATMAN

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Queenblurblab

I've had thoughts of suicide though never very serious. More like "I could just go lay in the snow for a few hours or I could do this work." Though the thoughts of hopelessness are still there though not all the time. I blame it on the stress and the teen angst. Not that I think that suicide is a good option.

Edited by Queenblurblab
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I have thought about it several times, and a few years earlier if I knew what I would think that way some day, I would think I was going mad. The Earth turns, stuffs happen, and things can change, sometimes in a bad way. :o

It's a weird feeling when you're trying to capture the second that just past you by, and fail to know what is going to happen to your own existence in the very next second... And the question of existence's been freaking me out since grade school. Don't dig too deep into those things and get lost in your own thoughts. It can be really difficult to get back on track... 'cause then you'd be seriously curious to know how it's like to "not to exist" ?

Horrible things happen to everyone(except for those VERY,VERY lucky ones), it's really sad that someone would feel so sorry for him/herself to commit suicide. If you think about your friends and parents, think about people that made you who you are, and even if they're all like, let's say changed to people you wouldn't love, forget about their misery that somehow made you miserable; plus, the real life doesn't start until you become an adult. When you're dead, you're nothing more than some atoms waiting to be passed on to the next whatever being, there's no misery, no stress etc. but you're missing out on all the good stuff, I don't know, like, the joy of taking random pictures (or is it only me..;P). Yeah, you were born, so you were supposed to be on this planet, it's only a pity to take it away yourself, considering how many other sick people are craving for life, yet still positive like there's no tomorrow. Actually you've gotta be positive if there's no tomorrow to live life to the fullest. :P and someday when you're all wrinkled and ugly and sick of that pain in your head covered by ugly faded white hair (not trying to curse anyone;P),loved by everyone in your life, death will come and greet you like an old friend :D

"You see no meaning to your life, you should try~~" (Another band obsession-- Coldplay<3*AHHHHHHHHH* for the next few months :] )

Yep, I learn nothing from books... Songs are my teachers -_- and our school just HAD to ban mp3 players 0.0 why not ban those fat, tree-killing, head-ache-giving, making-my-hair-falling biology textbooks instead? lol

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I have, and all too seriously at that. Then I realized that if I killed myself, there would only be a small, small group of people that really would even care. Then after a few more weeks it would just be my family. Then, they too will forget about me.

And what good will that do.

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I have, and all too seriously at that. Then I realized that if I killed myself, there would only be a small, small group of people that really would even care. Then after a few more weeks it would just be my family. Then, they too will forget about me.

And what good will that do.

hoho that's the spirit. I say, if you're going to off yourself, you better make it big.

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Not that any of us would have the time to commit suicide, but nah I'm very happy and grateful about my life and generally freaked out by the thought of not existing so I'd love to postpone this kind of physical statement for as long as possible ... and don't tell me you dislike long sentences. (punning)

Can't imagine being freaked out by not existing. I mean, consider it logically: to not exist means to not exist. It's neither good nor bad: it's the absence of both... life is full of ups and downs, it makes sense to me to want to choose the middle ground. The only reason I won't is because of the my family/friends (think McCandless). My theory though is the people around people who commit suicide are responsible, obliquely or not. It should be a moral precept of being in a community to reach out and help.

The concepts of inexistence and extinctivism fascinate me to no end. Perhaps we should create another thread just discussing this?

Anyhow, here're some thoughts:

When you try to imagine your own non-existence you have to imagine that you perceive or know about your non-existence. No wonder there’s a dilemma! My current theory is that this is the reason religion exists at all — because it's impossible for us to imagine our own death, which stems from the very nature of consciousness. So we have to invent some sort of afterlife so we don't go crazy from death anxiety. We have never experienced anything the absence of conscious (because it is impossible to), and therefore not feeling anything isn't something we can process.

Alright, there are my two bits. Here's a quote I love:

"Consider the rather startling fact that you will never know you have died…Just to remind you, you need a working cerebral cortex to harbor propositional knowledge of any sort, including the fact that you’ve died - and once you’ve died your brain is about as phenomenally generative as a head of lettuce." - Jesse Bering

p.s. Never considered suicide, I like grilled cheese too much.

Edited by ronali
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Yes, a couple of years ago, but I hit a really bad rough patch with my family, friends, school, entire life.

I think my violin is what saved me... I didn't want to let it go... So, here I am, not having those thoughts anymore and I'm entirely happy XD

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Yes, I have attempted suicide.

But it didn't work. I was too weak in my self-will and gave up after several tries.

And anyways, that was a long time ago when I was having major problems so I definitely don't recommend it to anyone.

Not that it would matter after if you are already dead :blum:

Please don't go to suicide if you are thinking about it. You're not thinking straight and life is SO much better once you get over it, whatever "it" may be.

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  • 2 months later...

Does anyone, actually?

Yes, me. I've been diagnosed of having Major Depressive Disorder last year and has been hospitalized twice for suicidal attempts. I've changed to two different antidepressants and taking benzodiapines for my sleep. There was one time I couldn't sleep for a month. Well, i did sleep but it wasn't like a sleep at all. I've been suffering from Depression for more than 4 years but the 1st 2 years were only dysthymia, a low grade depression but last year it blew up into full blown Major Depression. I don't know if i should say this but i've tried lots of ways to kill myself. I've tried slitting my wrist, overdosing, and hanging. I know this is too overrated to some. I believe people are misusing the phrase 'i'm depressed'. When i'm depressed it's like an empty void inside me. i feel numb. Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison explains it better than me,

b]"Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't."

Dr. Kay is a bipolar sufferer herself. When I cut myself it's like i want to make myself to be able to feel sth. I agree that when depression looms over me, i feel so empty but i cry anyway, I cry not because i'm sad but because of the void inside. People always associate crying with something sad but for depression, it's not the case. It's so empty so hollow so lonely that i want to cut myself open to let me know that i'm alive and to fill the void with something from outside. It's hard to describe what really is happening when one is depressed. Well, like what Haruki Murakami wrote in his book 'Kafka on the shore': Life is a metaphor. I can never describe in actuality what i really REALLY felt but once you get into the thin line dividing, it'll change your perspective forever.

The stigma when people know you're mentally ill will be so insulting but i don't give it a damn. They think they are 'normal'. But how many normal people back in those days who had been called 'crazy' for their ideas? Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Galileo. Face it, we're learning calculus invented by Isaac Newton who was suffering from depression. Without these looneys the world you so-called 'normal' wouldn't be as normal as you think. Just check in wiki how many great people have sufferd from depressin or any kind of mental illness, you will be shocked. JK Rowling is suffering from depression, fyi.

I'm sorry i think i'm overdoing this. i have a hard time concealing the scars on my forearm when ppl asked me abt them. i just answer 'it was my cat' (i pity my cat whom i made as a scapegoat :( ) but i know they don't believe me. but i don't care. Depression is really hard and it's not simply we can snap out of it. one cannot say to a depressed person to get himself together and try to combat it with will power alone. it's like saying to a diabetic patient to give up insulin and rely on motivation alone. i agree to the person who said it's an illness.

till this day i'm quite amazed how can i be depressed and still doing IB program which is really depressing itself. :D

Edited by DexterD
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Yeah I have... IB has been the cause of the majority of them lol. They're not serious though and I would never consider acting on them. They're more like "wouldn't it be great if I just jumped off a building and didn't have to worry about _____?" like Hamlet, haha.

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I used to be really depressed up until a couple years ago, and actually tried to OD when i was six years old. IB is stressful but i actually think it helps me because it's something that i can do that doesn't have to involve a lot of emotion and i'm in control of everything i do. I definetly agree that suicide isn't the answer, especially over something like school. I get mad at my self, and even cry, when i get a bad grade but i would never kill myself. When i was depressed it was because of a really bad home life and genetics.

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IMHO, for some depression is a terminal illness and suicide CAN be the answer. how can we know how much anguish that person has? we can say stuff, cheer him up, etc etc. but sometimes. well, that's my opinion though.

somehow this is related to euthanasia. would u be willing to see the person endure more suffering than to let him/her die to end the suffering? what if that's what he/she wants? just to end his/her suffering. how can killing oneself be selfish, i ask myself several times. at the very depth of my depressive episode, i just want to die and at times, i blamed everyone being selfish. can't they understand what's going on inside me? by forcing me to live, i have to endure more suffering.

during my 2nd admission into the psychiatric ward, my psychiatrist even suggested me to go through ECT, electroconvulsive therapy since my depression was really worse that i cried almost everyday. but she decided to change my antidepressant just to see how things go. so far i'm doing good and hoping this will continue.

i think i'm going to the extreme now. i better stop now before i lash out at everybody. :(

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i have felt depressed and stuff, but i don't think the thought of suicide has ever entered my brain.

i'm quite surprised to be honest that so many people have had the thought of committing suicide. :o

I second that. I've had times of depression, followed by times of pure joy and excitement, but suicide....??? Really???

To those who feel like committing suicide: :console: Cheer up! The IB will end soon, and once it does you might even miss it.

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