Jump to content

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?


Austin Glau

Recommended Posts

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from

the trees.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered

within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and

each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial

intent can never be discerned, because structuralism

is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,

as a chicken which has the daring and courage to

boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom

among them has the strength to contend with such a

paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the

princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd like to think we can live in a world where a chicken has the right to cross a road without getting it's motives questioned :bawling:

Nah, bit naive don't you think?

Stalin: Because comerade chicken is a japanese spy and a traitor to the motherland.

Btw, in the Soviet union you don't cross the road, the road crosses you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed

the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-

nature.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow

out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,

you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the

Need to resist such a public Display of your own

lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Charles Darwin (revisited): Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

George Bush: To face a thousand points of headlights

Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

Adolf Hitler: It needed Lebensraum.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite

justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, balance your checkbook and eat your neighbour.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. Alone. In the rain.

PARIS HILTON: Huh?

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road but why it crossed, I’ve not been told.

Original 'why did the chicken cross the road' in a magazine during the 19th century.

post-10498-127666529431_thumb.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites

lol nice find :P

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fow

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)

reason.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Edited by 2401 I Hate Tangents
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...