Capa Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 I am very unsure of how to write an introduction in an essay. My teacher says that I should include all the arguments that I am going to talk in the essay, in the introduction. Also, I don't know if I should write things like: "..This essay is going to say why Fidel Castro had a real reason for being worried about the Cuban Missile.." or should it be more like: ".. Fidel Castro had reasons to fear a nuclear war because..." My teacher says that the first way is what IB like. I still strongly feel like asking this question here because the second method seems so much more natural for me. Furthermore, this is the first time my school is providing the IB ddiploma programme, and this makes me doubt about some of the things they say because of their inexperience. I would be thankful for any replies... Capa...! Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vvi Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 I normally write an introduction that goes something like this: [b]How successful was Mussolini in solving the problems he faced?[/b] [i]When Mussolini came to power in October 1922, he inherited a multitude of problems from the previous liberal government. He had to balance the divisions between the radicals and moderates within his own Fascist party with his own aims of establishing a dictatorship, while at the same consolidating his power. The weakened economy and conflict between the state and the Catholic church were other obstacles that he had to overcome.[/i] You can see that I briefly outlined the problems that Mussolini faced, which means that I will elaborate on those areas later. The second way that you wrote ("Fidel Castro had reasons to fear a nuclear war because...") sounds better, the first one is too forced. You want it to flow. What sounds natural is natural, also to the IB examiners. And I would agree with you, if it's your school's first time doing IB then maybe don't listen to everything the teachers suggest. The English teacher in our school last year was new to IB and didn't know about EE English criteria. The girl she supervised got a C because the direction of the essay was wrong. Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aliquantus Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 I agree with Vvi. Also note how she put the question into some kind of time context. This is something I always try to do. Some essay questions could force you to come up with your own, suitable time boundaries. I found one of my old essays. The question was: [b]Assess the successes and failures of Hitler in solving Germany's economic and social problems.[/b] [i]When Hitler came to power in 1933, he was facing several problems, many inherited from the Weimar Republic. The depression in both Germany and the world had just occured, and unemployment was large in Germany. Furthermore, Germany was was on the brink of becoming bankrupt. Solving these problems were some of Hitler's main objectives.[/i] Fascinating to see how similar it is to Vvi's introduction. So what I basically do is to create some kind of natural time frame (1933 and onwards). I state a reason for the problems (inherited from Weimar Republic). I state the problems. Perhaps I should have said something about Hitler's method to solve these.. (which I cannot at all remember at the moment). Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scade Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Well, what I generally try to do is somehow put the question in context and evaluate its implications. Then I normally end up having some sort of challenges to the question and finally a thesis (this is really important!) that captures my answer to the question in one sentence. I'll put some examples here from my previous essays. I'll also include what I got for the essay and if there were comments to the intro in square brackets (our teacher has been teaching IB for more than 10 years with about half of the students getting 7s and he's been an examinor for the IBO so I trust his marking). A question on the failure of the Provisional Government installed in 1917 February in Russia (can't remember the exact wording): [i]In 1917 February Russia's Tsarist system was brought down. In its place was installed a Provisional Government. It aimed to tackle the shortcomings of the Tsarist rule and initially people were expecting a lot from it. However, in October 1917 the Bolsheviks consolidated power and brought the Provisional Government down. Therefore it is important to consider both the shortcomings of the PG and the achievements of the Bolsheviks when considering why the Provisional Government failed. [Well put!] The PG had many internal weaknesses and its policies were often unpopular, but only the Bolshevik coup d'état brought it down.[/i] 17/20 How did foreign intervention affect the outcome of the Spanish Civil War?: [i]The Spanish Civil War (1936-1939) broke out mainly due to internal tensions [Note claim]. The problems experienced in Spain, however, were not unique. The Civil War was fastly internationalized, and was especially on the left side viewn (after the war) as 'the last great cause'. On both sides, the Republicans and the Nationalists, many foreigners fought. [Claim:]For several reasons the material and human aid on the Nationalist side was more efficient than that of the Republican side. The Nationalist side's victory cannot fully be accounted for the foreign intervention, and non-intervention. It is evident that the involvement quickened the victory of Franco and made it more evident [Note clear interpretation. If evidence is provided this will earn extra points.][/i] 19/20 (Copied for class, therefore more comments on the structure. There are a couple of examples. I can provide some more if you want (yes I'm avoiding the real work ). As you can see, I begin by somehow contextualizing the question and maybe explaining some if its key terms/aspects. I then move on to the more particular demands of the question and form an interpretation which I am going to justify in my essay. While I don't state all my arguments I provide an overarching thesis for my essay against which I present my arguments. Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CodeRed15 Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Here are a list of things that are suggested you include in your introduction. -Opening general statement. -Specific statement. -Scope. -Your arguments outlined in one sentence each. - Research question. (optional) -Thesis (this should be the last sentence of your intro) Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capa Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Scade and CodeRed15 (and the rest): thanks! That helped Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
avident Posted February 25, 2009 Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 (edited) I was told by a very prominent and overall excellent history teacher that [b]you can also[/b] start your essay [i]creatively[/i] - something along these lines: [i]The harsh wind was blowing in the face of Mr. Columbus. Around him was nothing but vast ocean. His men were doubting whether they would ever reach shore. ''We will sail until the end of the earth!'' Columbus shouted and pointed to the horizon. That he did not achieve, though, as he soon arrived to America. ... [/i] So something like that for a few sentences, even a short paragraph, and then start naming facts and other historical stuff. It makes interesting reading for the examiners and I assure you they'll like it. Edited February 25, 2009 by avident Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scade Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 Well that might be interesting and capture the attention, but honestly if you have 45/50 minutes time per essay I consider it better spent doing hard analysis than being creative Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
avident Posted February 26, 2009 Report Share Posted February 26, 2009 You're right, but it can be helpful when writing essays at home, where you have all the time in the world (almost). And besides, even in real-life exam situations, that doesn't take that much time to generate, especially if you're someone very creative. Reply Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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