Best, worst, funniest pick up lines/ actions.

[HanginByMyLastFingr]

Do you do them or have they been done to you? Post 'm. Decide whether the one above is categorized as Good, Bad, or Just to be Funny.

Go up to a girl and move your hand up to her shoulder and say: "Did you know the distance from here to here (pointing from her left shoulder to just below the neck) is the same distance from here to here (pointing from the neck to her right shoulder)

[Sonneteer_Trombonist]

Just to be Funny

Every Valentines day, I team up with a friend and we write nerdy jokes on cards for our class. Here's a classic:

I wish I was sine² and you were cosine² so together we could become one.

[mecamylamine]

My friend told me this "baby, I want to treat you like my homework, slam you on my table and do you all night long"

[~vola]

A few friends and I went on a camping trip last week and, as typically happens when a group of teenagers get together, eventually we started coming up with really bad camping-related pickup lines. A couple of the better (worse?) ones:

- "Are we camping? Because you just set my marshmallow on fire."

- "Baby, you can toast my marshmallows anytime."

However, my favorite pickup line is adorable and would probably work on me if I were single. It goes like this.

*holds out hand* "Hey, would you hold this for me?"

[soadquake981]

Uhh... I'm probably missing something really obvious, but I don't understand the first one posted.

[summersweetness]

If I had a garden, I'd put your tulips next to my tulips.

[Kaneele]

One of my classmates has this on his skype : 'Hey, I lost my phone number...can I have yours?'

[HanginByMyLastFingr]

Would it be alright if I took your breath away?

[M6T6R6]

Did you just fart? 'Cause you blew me away!

AND

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Can I have your number?

[Austin Glau]

I don't understand either of those.

[M6T6R6]

If you don't understand those - IB isn't right for you (lol, kiddin')

[Ray of sunshine]

"You're so hot you denature my enzymes" lol For the bio HLs

[aprdawn]

If you were an asymptote, I'd be a parabola... Because I feel myself aprroaching.

What's your sine? It must be pi/2 because you are the one.

-For the one above, it's more entertaining to show them the process on your calculator. Press: SIN(π/2) and then ENTER. The answer should be 1. It only works in radian mode by the way.

If I was an endoplasmic reticulum would you like me smooth? Or rough?

[AnjaJ]

This one have been done to me. I quite like it, cause it made me laugh

"You are a beautiful girl, you have probably heard all the great pick up lines, so why dont' you just tell me the ones that worked so we can get past all that....?"

[Austin Glau]

Did you just fart? 'Cause you blew me away!

AND

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Can I have your number?

i get it now never mind

[Guest senior]

So my friend walks into 'subway' (the sandwhich place), turns to the waitress and says... "i think you just turned my 6 inch into a 1 foot"

[jason32894]

does this smell like chloroform to you?

Personally, I would go for midazolam: effective and far less obvious.

[CkyBlue]

Absolute worst line ever: Hey... uhm... do you wannaaa DU something, sometime? -___________-" (facepalm)

I've also heard "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first" was really bad.

And I'm sure all the bio kids have heard the helicase, and unzipping joke....

[Arrowhead]

I had the misfortune of coming across these special nuggets once upon a time:

- "Hey baby, you're pretty, I'm pretty, let's go home and stare at each other."

- "Hey baby, you smell good, wanna smell me?"

[Daedalus]

Just to be funny, I guess? None of these have much potential, lol. These are pickup lines used to make jokes about pickup lines.

So here's my golden list -- all of these have, in combination with various quantities of alcohol and my rambling wit (okay, probably more the first than the second) gotten me at least a kiss. Use them well.

(Outside of a bar, to (a) girl(s) smoking). "Do you have a lighter I could borrow?" This one is a classic. The next step is to make some slightly denigrating comment about their clothes or cigarettes or something, like "Oh, you smoke lights -- I'll move away then! I'm pretty sure my secondhand smoke could make you sick..." These sound better in real life (the alcohol, no doubt). You pull away slightly and steal their lighter. Improvise from there.

(Walking with a girl or in any place where you can hear each other talk pretty well and aren't sitting, like outside, smoking (another good reason to smoke)). Look at your watch (particularly if you don't have one) and then up at her. "I give it 60 seconds before you complain about wearing heels." This works well with like two girls and you sort of awkwardly interrupting their conversation with your presence ... your heart will be thudding in your chest because it's a bit rude, but if you instantly inhabit this funny/ironic/teasy character, you will be fine. First statements count a lot less than you'd think. The good thing is, almost every girl does complain about their heels to someone they know, though clearly not to a stranger -- and still, it's a great way to open a conversation. You can ask them why they actually wear heels in the first place. It's usually because they're competing against other girls and want to look as good/better, because they're short, etc., but if their reply is appropriate you can say: "I should get me a pair too!" Being humorous in that way, as if you have no care for your own masculinity, is much better than being insecure-macho.

Er, simply "You're very pretty, so I'll buy you a drink, but only if you drink it faster than me". You choose the drink (something neutral, not beer or shots) and maybe ask her beforehand, just to make sure she doesn't hate it. Don't let her dictate what drink you buy. Then you look at her and drink whatever it is in one sip. She'll try to catch up (and fail, if you're any good) but you'll have started the interaction off on a humorous basis and now you can say something like "Okay, you have to buy me one now!" All of these lines have a bit of a creep-effect to them (ie intimidating to do), but they're really just to break the ice, after that it's your personality that decides if you sink or swim.

Then random stuff like: Has anyone told you you have the most incredibly beautiful handbag in the world? It's gorgeous! Can I look at it?" Or simply "Where're you from? I love your accent but I can't place it..." Or "Where did you learn to dance like that?" This last one only works if you say it with genuine (or very good fake) shock and if she's a really good dancer.

Exercise: read through the lines from the posts above and imagine yourself making use of any of them in real life. The only way the mathematical/etc. ones work is if a) you're at a university or b) you're clearly making fun of yourself in using them. The only time I was ever brave enough to try I was already pretty drunk, and my friends were laughing from about 10 meters away, so I rattled off my line and then looked at the girls honestly and said "Listen, can you do me a favour? My friends will owe me enough money to buy both of you a drink if we walk out of this place together -- and we can come back in like five minutes." Outside we started talking and that was cool. Turns out one of them is a lesbian and the other won very into Tarantino movies, which was pretty cool .. but again, it's not the opening that counts but the potential for an actual conversation you introduce. It's all about having the balls to approach a random (hopefully cute) stranger!

Phew, long post. Thinking too much about girls these days. Probably more serious than anyone expected .. good luck though! Nothing like making out with a cute stranger to get you through Monday's math test!

Edited July 17, 2011 by Daedalus