dating in IB

[Billy]

My grades, in %, are all around 80-90. Nothing spectacular.

Not coincidentally, I have a girlfriend that I see almost every day.

What does IBsurvival think about the whole idea of it?

[DeStijl]

I was in a pretty serious relationship for the majority of my time in IB. Mind you, I'm an extremely busy individual. Not only is IB time consuming (as you all are quite aware), but I was dancing several hours each week, teaching dance, and attending choir practices. My days were jam-packed, leaving me little time for myself and my boyfriend. Of course, I told him this right from the get-go, and he stated that he understood.

I'm not quite sure he did.

As much as I cared for him and wanted to be in his company more frequently, I simply couldn't find an abundance of time. Every spare moment I had was spent with him, because the relationship would die otherwise. I was completely and totally committed and determined to make it work.

Apparently my best just wasn't enough. He told me that spending only a couple of days each week with him was insufficient, and he didn't like that my number one priority was school. Thus, he broke up with me just before exams.

OH MY GOODNESS. I don't know why I'm ranting about this. Basically, if you can find someone that understands the time and dedication that IB requires, then I see nothing wrong with getting into a relationship. Perhaps my mistake was that I couldn't find the perfect balance between Le Boy and getting good grades...although I thought I did a pretty decent job. If you can achieve an equilibrim of sorts, then have at it!

Edited June 13, 2009 by DeStijl

[Mattias]

Remember to keep in mind though that people who are spending time on an IB forum are biased, as not everyone has this level of dedication (and will therefore cut out parts of their lives such as girlfriends etc.)

But yes, I did vote for "not enough time" because corresponding to what I want to do in life, I will need x amount of hours dedicated to my studies, which then in turn will help me get into the school I want and ultimately help me do the job I will do. In my opinion, it is a worthy sacrifice, as I have faith in what I am going to do will ultimately help people.

[herbert]

I agree that people on this forum would probably say "it's a bad idea", thus being a little biased.

I however, do not think that it's necessarily a bad thing.

I mean, regardless how good of a student you are, everyone needs time to take a break.

Why not let that break be hanging out with your girl/boyfriend?

I mean, it's not like we spend every living moment on our studies anyway.

I get decent grades, but I waste roughly 2 hours everyday on youtube looking at pointless stuff.

What I'm saying is everyone has a "pad" that they use up doing other things which aren't always based on IB, so why not use that pad to build a relationship with someone.

Right now, I don't have a girlfriend, but I'm working on a girl. It's slow going, because of exams.

However, I've decided when I actually do make some progress with this girl (And I will!) I will take some of the time I used for my self and use it to spend time with her.

Hopefully, this will work.

[__inthemaking]

Way worth it for me.

I started dating my current boyfriend in November of IB1. We encouraged each other to do well in IB, studied together, helped each other, edited each other's IAs, and most importantly, we understood that school came first and that dates came second. It only works though if both people understand the time that IB will demand and if you have an IA due on Monday, you won't be able to see them that weekend. My boyfriend and I probably had a total of 5 dates in IB2 but we saw each other every day in school so it didn't matter. Although we love each other, we understood that school came first for both of us. So I think it'll only work out if your bf/gf is understanding of that and okay with the fact that they won't always be your first priority, although that doesn't mean that you love/like them any less.

We both ended up doing very well in IB and got into our first choice universities.

And we're still together over 2.5 years later..it'll be 3 years this November !

Edited June 13, 2009 by __inthemaking

[Vvi]

Even former IBers don't always get that school comes first for some people. My classmate's boyfriend came to live with her for 2 months while she was revising for her May exams, and he was constantly distracting her. Other people that have had serious boyfriends in my class have also had their schoolwork suffer because they met up with their boyfriends almost every day for several hours and didn't do homework.

Maybe if you can sensibly plan a few times a week to meet up, it would work. Obviously it helps if the other person is in your school/class, because then you see them much more often.

[Redstar]

In my case it was definitely worth it. I've been with my current girlfriend for two years and a half, before we even started IB. Once IB started we both understood that school was a priority, but we still saw each other each day in school, and we still went out every saturday, so we never had any problems, and we both did very well in the IB and got into good universities. As long as you can find someone who understands the stress that IB causes and understands that school is a priority, then there shouldn't be any problem, in my opinion.

[Billy]

I was in a pretty serious relationship for the majority of my time in IB. Mind you, I'm an extremely busy individual. Not only is IB time consuming (as you all are quite aware), but I was dancing several hours each week, teaching dance, and attending choir practices. My days were jam-packed, leaving me little time for myself and my boyfriend. Of course, I told him this right from the get-go, and he stated that he understood.

I'm not quite sure he did.

As much as I cared for him and wanted to be in his company more frequently, I simply couldn't find an abundance of time. Every spare moment I had was spent with him, because the relationship would die otherwise. I was completely and totally committed and determined to make it work.

Apparently my best just wasn't enough. He told me that spending only a couple of days each week with him was insufficient, and he didn't like that my number one priority was school. Thus, he broke up with me just before exams.

OH MY GOODNESS. I don't know why I'm ranting about this. Basically, if you can find someone that understands the time and dedication that IB requires, then I see nothing wrong with getting into a relationship. Perhaps my mistake was that I couldn't find the perfect balance between Le Boy and getting good grades...although I thought I did a pretty decent job. If you can achieve an equilibrim of sorts, then have at it!

Dont feel bad ranting I love hearing about real experiences from people in detail. I think I grew a few feet taller just reading that... it helped me kinda pinpoint a problem with my current relationship.

In my case it was definitely worth it. I've been with my current girlfriend for two years and a half, before we even started IB. Once IB started we both understood that school was a priority, but we still saw each other each day in school, and we still went out every saturday, so we never had any problems, and we both did very well in the IB and got into good universities. As long as you can find someone who understands the stress that IB causes and understands that school is a priority, then there shouldn't be any problem, in my opinion.

She hates IB, shes not in it. She thinks that all the IB kids are snotty and condescending, and that it is no more difficult (and is even less respectable) than AP. Whenever I say I can't see her because of all the work I have to do, she gets defensive. She says "People other than IB work their asses off, like me, and they don't get the credit."

She is in all regents except AP bio and psych. >.>

She has no respect for IB, but thankfully she respects my homework and gives me time to do it. Occasionally she will whine to stay over my house when I have homework and it results in me doing homework from 10pm (when i walk her home) till school the next morning, but that's an uncommon occurrence.

And my grades fall when she's mean to me, but the bounce up quick. Cyclistic relationship.

[__inthemaking]

I feel like being in a relationship while in IB works out best if both people are in IB. When I was in IB, I had a classmate who was dating someone in the AP program. They only lasted a couple months because they would actually get into fights about which program was harder/more competitive/more work etc when one of them would vent to another about their amount of school work (as all couples usually do).

How long have you and your girlfriend been together? I hope that doesn't happen to your girlfriend and you, but just be wary that the nature of your relationship doesn't cause you to do poorly in IB.

[Cynthia]

I have actually been thinking of this lately as I start IB this autumn. I've been in a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend for 2.5 years, and I'm a bit worried of how I will cope as we're used to spending a lot of time talking online etc. and I'm quite worried that at some point it will inevitably make me do less homework and so on.

But for now I agree with most of the posters here: you need a balance between school and other things, and as pretty much all of my friends are to be IB as well he'll surely help me remain sane...

Edited June 14, 2009 by Cynthia

[Billy]

I feel like being in a relationship while in IB works out best if both people are in IB. When I was in IB, I had a classmate who was dating someone in the AP program. They only lasted a couple months because they would actually get into fights about which program was harder/more competitive/more work etc when one of them would vent to another about their amount of school work (as all couples usually do).

How long have you and your girlfriend been together? I hope that doesn't happen to your girlfriend and you, but just be wary that the nature of your relationship doesn't cause you to do poorly in IB.

A year and 5 months. The terrible thing is, there's an IB girl that wants to date me, and I've been having feelings for her. It has become a huge sticky situation.

I'd love for my current girlfriend to be IB.

To make matters worse, she is going to college when I'll be in IB 12, and she will start saying how much harder college is than IB and how insignificant all my complaints about IB are. Not to mention, long distance stuff is hard for me to handle =(

EDIT: terrible grammar, my spacebar is faulty

Edited June 14, 2009 by Billy

[__inthemaking]

I feel like being in a relationship while in IB works out best if both people are in IB. When I was in IB, I had a classmate who was dating someone in the AP program. They only lasted a couple months because they would actually get into fights about which program was harder/more competitive/more work etc when one of them would vent to another about their amount of school work (as all couples usually do).

How long have you and your girlfriend been together? I hope that doesn't happen to your girlfriend and you, but just be wary that the nature of your relationship doesn't cause you to do poorly in IB.

A year and 5 months. The terrible thing is, there's an IB girl that wants to date me, and I've been having feelings for her. It has become a huge sticky situation.

I'd love for my current girlfriend to be IB.

To make matters worse, she is going to college when I'll be in IB 12, and she will start saying how much harder college is than IB and how insignificant all my complaints about IB are. Not to mention, long distance stuff is hard for me to handle =(

EDIT: terrible grammar, my spacebar is faulty

Ahh I know how it is about long distance relationships. My boyfriend and I go to different universities so we are long distance during the school year and it takes a lot of dedication/commitment to make it work. It was quite a big jump from seeing each other every day in school and having all of our classes together (except for one, he took physics SL and I took bio SL) to seeing each other once a month.

That does sound like quite a sticky situation..plus nobody likes to have their problems belittled. Have you talked to her and told her how it feels when she makes your problems sound insignificant?

[The Economist]

I doubt whether someone should date when he/she is in the IB program.

Of course I don't have any prior experience , as I'm not into the IB world yet ( not until September )

But I believe that you can't focus on your studies when you're in a relationship. Simply because most of the times your girlfriend/boyfriend will seek for most of you attention and as a result you may not be ready for a test or a class.

There are some exceptions though, such as inthemaking's example but how many of this situations may exist?? 5-6??

I truly believe that the best way stay focused is to be with your friends or by yourself!

That is my opinion but I'll let you know if anything changes when I start the IB program.

[JeffThorsen777]

I don't understand, why give up life and pleasant moments for the sake of writing a document that no one will remember tomorrow. I met my girlfriend in a chat https://isexychat.com/chatrooms/gay-chat/ And I never regretted that I spent time on relationships and not on a bunch of unnecessary information. After all, there are many services that help students do their assignments.

Edited December 27, 2020 by JeffThorsen777