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Ib english A paper 1 help

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Hello! So I'm currently a DP2 in need of massive help regarding my first paper 1 of the semester. I used to have a veteran Ib teacher in DP1, with whom I used to get all 6s and 7s. But this year I have a first-year IB teacher (that's honestly very very sh***y) who graded my essay a 4/7 ??? I really don't get if he's f**king with me or if I did something wrong because I followed the exact same format from last year ?? I really would appreciate it if a teacher or someone that has gotten 6+ in ib english A could correct it and tell me if I really deserve that 4. I'iil PM the essay. Thank you already

Edited by NansSoss
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