Any IB juniors or seniors have the time to read this over?

[Lily Pop]

b

spanishsto.docx

Edited February 17, 2015 by Lily Pop

[Thrashmaster]

Wow, that was really cool. I enjoyed reading that a lot. Nice little children's story. Almost rhymed throughout, and I can't tell if that's on purpose or not.

During the first line that mentions the monster, 'sonrisa' is feminine and thus it should be 'una,' not 'un.'

These lines:

Pero, la criatura veían estaba asustado también,

Y él corría. “¿Por qué estás corrió?” gritó alguien.

“¿Estás bien?” gritaron otros.

“¡Monstruos! ¡Monstruos!” él gritó.

These are confusing. You actually say "yelled someone," and I don't know who after rereading the whole thing several times. To this point, you said that Nico and Nica ran, and so did one monster. Then suddenly, for these lines and lines after them, I believe I read that there were more. This is not clear.

"Y todos buscaban los monstruos…"

Needs another word. This says searching monsters, not searching for monsters.

"Y los chicos dijeron las criaturas los cuentos por horas."

Reword, por favor. Y los chicos dijeron los cuentos a las criaturas por horas OR Y los chicos las dijeron los cuentos por horas.

Other than that, it was pretty good. There are some consistency things you could work on, such as if you capitalize the words that come right after dialogue, but overall, I was very impressed. What level Spanish are you in?