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Disappointment, suicide ?


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Guys I am new on this platform so I don't really know how to works. But I do have a problem with my life which I wish to get over with.

Bit about myself - I am currently in my first year of IB. I have a very loving family who are the best. I have decided to become an industrial designer and my family fully supports me. I have dreams of becoming very wealthy. I am an over thinker and a very weak mentally and emotionally. I always want my family to be happy.

My problem - I am a DISAPPOINTMENT. I have always set high goals for myself and my family also has a very high expectations from me. But I always disappointment them. Be it exams or anything I don't meet their expectations and even my expectations. After the pandemic, due to online school I have become lazy and don't even study when I know I should. I have tried to change myself but after almost a year of not studying, I am not able to sit and study even when I want too. I am getting very poor mark in exam and my parents are always upset. 

Should I end my life? Suicide? I am tired of seeing me and my parents disappointed. I know I sound stupid but is it actually worth living seeing my family disappointed? Then have done too much for me and I have always disappointed them. I know their heart will be broken but I won't be able to live seeing them disappointed. I cannot talk to my parents about this as I don't have the courage to do so. My parents don't know this because after every disappointment I try to act strong but in front of them so they think I don't care. But in reality I am devastated from inside and cry a lot when I am alone.

What should I do?  

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4 hours ago, 2878 said:

Guys I am new on this platform so I don't really know how to works. But I do have a problem with my life which I wish to get over with.

Bit about myself - I am currently in my first year of IB. I have a very loving family who are the best. I have decided to become an industrial designer and my family fully supports me. I have dreams of becoming very wealthy. I am an over thinker and a very weak mentally and emotionally. I always want my family to be happy.

My problem - I am a DISAPPOINTMENT. I have always set high goals for myself and my family also has a very high expectations from me. But I always disappointment them. Be it exams or anything I don't meet their expectations and even my expectations. After the pandemic, due to online school I have become lazy and don't even study when I know I should. I have tried to change myself but after almost a year of not studying, I am not able to sit and study even when I want too. I am getting very poor mark in exam and my parents are always upset. 

Should I end my life? Suicide? I am tired of seeing me and my parents disappointed. I know I sound stupid but is it actually worth living seeing my family disappointed? Then have done too much for me and I have always disappointed them. I know their heart will be broken but I won't be able to live seeing them disappointed. I cannot talk to my parents about this as I don't have the courage to do so. My parents don't know this because after every disappointment I try to act strong but in front of them so they think I don't care. But in reality I am devastated from inside and cry a lot when I am alone.

What should I do?  

First of all, you matter and you are not a disappointment. I know how are you feeling because I've been there. You think nothing matters and you can't do more, but I know (an deeply you too) the world hasn't seen you yet, and you shouldn't be thinking about ending it all.

Sharing it is a sing that you aren't weak. You need help. You should start talking with someone you trust (like a friend) so they can help you. And if you talk to your parents they will tell you that you are their world, and you can never disappoint them. If you cannnot find anyone talk to a teacher, they may direct you to a conseulor that can help you.

The pandemic has affected us all, each one of us in a different way. You may never be the person you were before, but you can grow and improve.

Life goes on, and it may seem that you are staying behind, but it is worth it, with the highs and the lows.

And if you ever need someone, the IB community will be here for you.

(Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my mother language)

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1 hour ago, _emmma_ said:

First of all, you matter and you are not a disappointment. I know how are you feeling because I've been there. You think nothing matters and you can't do more, but I know (an deeply you too) the world hasn't seen you yet, and you shouldn't be thinking about ending it all.

Sharing it is a sing that you aren't weak. You need help. You should start talking with someone you trust (like a friend) so they can help you. And if you talk to your parents they will tell you that you are their world, and you can never disappoint them. If you cannnot find anyone talk to a teacher, they may direct you to a conseulor that can help you.

The pandemic has affected us all, each one of us in a different way. You may never be the person you were before, but you can grow and improve.

Life goes on, and it may seem that you are staying behind, but it is worth it, with the highs and the lows.

And if you ever need someone, the IB community will be here for you.

(Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my mother language)

Thank you soo much for this kind words. This really helped me.

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6 hours ago, _emmma_ said:

I've just read this on Instagram and I've thought about you:

"I hope beautiful things happen to you and when they do, I hope you can believe you are worthy of every single of them"

Ayyy so sweet of you. Thank you!

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Listen; I know Indian parents have high expectations and sometimes they can think that exams are a reflection of how smart you are and how successfully you'll be in life. Trust me, I've got Indian parents (albeit relaxed ones). 

This is obviously wrong; grades are often a poor indicator of how well you'll do in life. Sure, you could get a medical seat at John Hopkins or get into MIT easily with straight 7s and a 3 in inner core, but often, I find, these people don't become millionaires or billionaires in the future. Only very few of them end up being incredibly successful in their position. Contrastingly, if you look at the top in terms of wealth (billionaires), most weren't known for their high school grades, but for their successful businesses, investment, and their successes in whatever they did. 

For example, Bill Gates was incredibly good with computers, so he got crafty and decided to make a business around it. Jensen Huang, the CEO of NVIDIA, was an electrical engineer who decided to make a semiconductor company which nowadays makes the GPUs in any good laptop and desktop around the world. If you look at Steve Jobs, he didn't go to any ivy league colleges. He dropped out of college. What was he good at? Business. Sundar Pitchai was a technological expert. Essentially, if you're good at anything and want to get very rich, you need to just focus and that and that alone, and construct something bigger which revolves around it. If you look at the majority of the world's self-made billionaires, they're all businessmen or financially smart individuals. 

Let's talk about studying now. The thing is, lockdown makes us all lazy and unable to work. But you need to work (by work, I mean get stuff done, and have some productive output, as opposed to watching netflix all the time) in order to be successful. I had the same issue after the 2020 lockdown where I live; I didn't get stuff done, and I ended up with a report card of 4s and 5s. 

When you're alone, you need to set self-made goals. Which you need to follow if you want to be successful, and not detract from. If you want to be a billionaire, focus on what you are good at, and build a financial plan around gaining money from those skills. Hone your skills in your spare time, but also learn to relax. 

True success will come when you are rid of those who detract from it. Negative influences, for example in this case your parents constantly getting disappointed, will mean nothing to you when you are a billionaire. You need to be a lone wolf, but have useful allies, if you want to be rich.

 

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I'm really sorry you are going through this. And I know it doesn't help in any way to hear this but I'm going through a similar experience. It's hard watching every hope and dream you had for yourself falling apart at the seams. I'm too much of a coward but God knows I want to disappear into oblivion. Anyway, don't kill yourself for the sake of your parents and the awesome industrial designer you might turn out to be 

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10 hours ago, Sue399 said:

I'm really sorry you are going through this. And I know it doesn't help in any way to hear this but I'm going through a similar experience. It's hard watching every hope and dream you had for yourself falling apart at the seams. I'm too much of a coward but God knows I want to disappear into oblivion. Anyway, don't kill yourself for the sake of your parents and the awesome industrial designer you might turn out to be 

The problem is, too many people get discouraged by bad grades. The truth is, grades are a very crude indicator of real talent; what matters is what you actually achieve, not some school grades from 10 years back. 

People should endeavour to improve their craft by learning, whether through school, or not. Right now, however, school does little to garner the interest of individuals, and actually teach them useful skills. 

I learnt all the maths I know on my own. I learnt physics largely on my own. My English skill improved not because of school, but because of reading good literature. 

School is simply a system for churning out like minded individuals who contribute to society in a very robotic way. Doing stuff on your own and learning things as an autodidact is sometimes far better than what the education system can offer you. This is why most successful people are all self-taught and recognise flaws in our education system. 

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On 10/5/2021 at 12:59 PM, 2878 said:

Guys I am new on this platform so I don't really know how to works. But I do have a problem with my life which I wish to get over with.

Bit about myself - I am currently in my first year of IB. I have a very loving family who are the best. I have decided to become an industrial designer and my family fully supports me. I have dreams of becoming very wealthy. I am an over thinker and a very weak mentally and emotionally. I always want my family to be happy.

My problem - I am a DISAPPOINTMENT. I have always set high goals for myself and my family also has a very high expectations from me. But I always disappointment them. Be it exams or anything I don't meet their expectations and even my expectations. After the pandemic, due to online school I have become lazy and don't even study when I know I should. I have tried to change myself but after almost a year of not studying, I am not able to sit and study even when I want too. I am getting very poor mark in exam and my parents are always upset. 

Should I end my life? Suicide? I am tired of seeing me and my parents disappointed. I know I sound stupid but is it actually worth living seeing my family disappointed? Then have done too much for me and I have always disappointed them. I know their heart will be broken but I won't be able to live seeing them disappointed. I cannot talk to my parents about this as I don't have the courage to do so. My parents don't know this because after every disappointment I try to act strong but in front of them so they think I don't care. But in reality I am devastated from inside and cry a lot when I am alone.

What should I do?  

I am so sorry about this, i know exactly what it feels like and coming from someone suicidal like myself i can assure you that it will get better, being told something like that seems meaningless but it is technically true. all i want you to know is that your worth is not in any way based on your grades so please don't think that way + you don't owe anyone one anything, your parents should love you no matter how bad your grades were, but obviously we cant deny that getting bad marks has a huge affect on your mental health and most of the time its uncontrollable. however you still didn't even do your final ib exams which i am sure you'll score well in since they tend to be easier than the unit tests and ones we do in class in general, so maybe if you see where you are going wrong with your studying technique and fix that but again this doesn't change the fact that your grades aren't everything in life you still have time ahead of you to figure life out don't feel pressurized to do so now. so please don't take away your own life, stay for you not for anyone else I hope you're okay and i wish you all happiness in life take care <3

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3 hours ago, faten said:

I am so sorry about this, i know exactly what it feels like and coming from someone suicidal like myself i can assure you that it will get better, being told something like that seems meaningless but it is technically true. all i want you to know is that your worth is not in any way based on your grades so please don't think that way + you don't owe anyone one anything, your parents should love you no matter how bad your grades were, but obviously we cant deny that getting bad marks has a huge affect on your mental health and most of the time its uncontrollable. however you still didn't even do your final ib exams which i am sure you'll score well in since they tend to be easier than the unit tests and ones we do in class in general, so maybe if you see where you are going wrong with your studying technique and fix that but again this doesn't change the fact that your grades aren't everything in life you still have time ahead of you to figure life out don't feel pressurized to do so now. so please don't take away your own life, stay for you not for anyone else I hope you're okay and i wish you all happiness in life take care <3

Agreed; what I've found is that I get my best grades when I'm in my best possible mood and am most motivated. In turn this leads to a cycle of being satisfied with myself. 

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3 hours ago, MathEEmoment said:

Agreed; what I've found is that I get my best grades when I'm in my best possible mood and am most motivated. In turn this leads to a cycle of being satisfied with myself. 

same

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